We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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