my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
