Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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