You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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