i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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