I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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