She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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