Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
