clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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