I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
