Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
