you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
