I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
