I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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