I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
