But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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