What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
