i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
