let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
