ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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