guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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