YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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