Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
