i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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