Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
