Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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