Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
