States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
