I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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