Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
