Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
