remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
