D3 body, D1 cock
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
