school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
