you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
