Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
