oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
