My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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