Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
