Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
