IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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