How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
