Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
