so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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