who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
