my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
