I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
