Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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