my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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