That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
