Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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