Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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