I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Bring me that man meat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
